


god, your lips were holy

by rainingroses05



Category: We Know the Devil (Visual Novel)
Genre: F/F, Internalized Homophobia, LGBT Themes, Romance, i just missed them so i wrote this, i wrote like half of this in a car so you know, it is what it is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-25
Updated: 2018-02-25
Packaged: 2019-03-23 19:10:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13794327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainingroses05/pseuds/rainingroses05
Summary: "Once I found a butterfly’s wing on the sidewalk.I wanted to keep it but I didn’t.I knew there were things I should never find beautiful.Like death.And girls."-"Crab Apple Pirates," Andrea Gibson





	god, your lips were holy

**Author's Note:**

> title from "Forever Bound" by Von Grey

            There were girls before Neptune, of course. Girls in her biology class with ponytails that swung hypnotically from side to side as they passed notes and chewing gum, girls whose laughs were reminiscent of glasses clinking on New Year’s Eve, girls who planted the seeds of a question in the back of her throat.

            But Neptune. Neptune is adolescent identity crisis and summer love story wrapped up and tied in a pretty bow.

            And no matter how hard she tries Jupiter can’t _not_ think about her.

            If something outlasts the summer haze, it’s real. It’s a crushing, undeniable truth that she can only escape in the smallest moments. There are two escapes: one snaps and stings her wrists and she forgets that she wants her, for a moment. One is soft and gentle, the brush of soft skin on hers, and she’s enveloped in the wanting until she can’t fight it, so she doesn’t, for a moment. Just a moment.

            So, when Neptune’s hand finds hers in the dark, Jupiter takes it. Neptune’s hands are small and soft and she smells like strawberries and Jupiter can’t breathe.

            The darkness embraces them in her shadowy arms. It’s comforting, to be so alone. The rest of the world’s gone away to hide so they don’t have to.

            “Shh,” Neptune says, and the whole world goes quiet for her.

            She smells like strawberries because that’s the flavor of her lip gloss.

            “It’s not real if we don’t say it out loud, right?” Jupiter says. _But what if I want it to be?_ (She doesn’t want that. She can’t want that. She’s not _supposed_ to want that.) But when she cries, Neptune reaches out to cup her cheek with her soft hands, and Jupiter thinks if she stood there long enough she could melt right into her.

            “This is nothing,” she says, and their lips meet, and she wonders how she’s become such a good liar. There are tiny wildfires everywhere that Neptune’s lips touch her skin.

            Neptune holds their intertwined hands between them. She lines up their fingers and stares at the back of her hands.

            Jupiter’s hands are shaking. She rests her head under Neptune’s chin. Her heartbeat sounds too loud for her chest.

            Neptune strokes her hair once and then tilts her chin up to kiss her again, harder this time. It’s almost a goodbye, but not quite.

_Until next time._

 

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

Sometimes Neptune touches her and she still has the sudden urge to snap her hair tie against her wrist until the skin turns red.

            “I know it’s not about _me_ ,” Neptune says. “I know you can’t just unlearn everything you’ve been told your entire life.”

            “Sorry.”

            “It’s okay. I mean, it’s not fucking okay, but it’s not your fault.” Neptune sits down on her bed, her legs criss-cross in front of her. She pats the mattress in front of her. “Come here.”

            Jupiter climbs onto the bed, kneeling in front of her. She spreads her hands out on the comforter. She folds her hands in her lap. She doesn’t know what to do with her hands.

            Neptune laces their fingers together and pulls her closer.

            It’s different this time. The lights are on. Jupiter can see the faint dusting of eyeshadow on Neptune’s eyelids, the specks of glitter that have fallen onto her cheeks.

            Her lip gloss smudges onto Jupiter’s lips, and she laughs, wiping it off with her thumb.

            Jupiter barely waits for her to pull her hand back before she kisses her again. Then she can’t stop the laughter that bubbles up in her throat because she’s just so _happy_. It feels like the first time she’s really laughed in a century. (She doesn’t know when she started feeling so _old._ )

            There’s still that lingering apprehension in the back of her head, leaving her waiting for the moment the switch goes off and everything about her feels _wrong_ in a way she can’t quite explain.

            Neptune seems to sense it, because a serious look crosses her face, and she says, “Whatever the voice in your head is saying right now, tell it to shut up.”

            “I can do that?” Jupiter asks softly, part genuine, part lame joke.

            “Maybe you just need to think about something else.” She tilts her head, and her eyes glitter. Neptune has beautiful eyes. She’s so beautiful.

            Jupiter wants to tell her that, but she can’t find her voice for a moment, so she nods until Neptune rests a hand on her cheek, brushing her hair behind her ear.

            “This is… okay, right?” Neptune whispers, sounding less than confident for one fleeting second.

            Jupiter whispers a yes into the space between their lips.

            When they’re both breathless and laughing and giddy, they lean back on Neptune’s mountain of pillows and talk.

            “I can’t wait to leave this place,” Neptune says. She brushes the back of her hand against Jupiter’s arm. There’s something in her voice that sounds like an invitation.

            “Where would you go?”

            “The coast,” Neptune says, which is vague and unspecific, but Jupiter doesn’t ask for details. That’s how most of their plans are, anyway. “Where would you go, if you could go anywhere?”

            “Oh. I don’t know. Somewhere far away, I guess. Ha. Somewhere where everyone minds their own business.”

            Neptune laughs. “I don’t think there’s anywhere just like that. Everyone’s always in each other’s business.” Then she turns onto her side so that the two of them are face to face. “The trick,” she whispers, her breath tickling Jupiter’s cheek, “is to pretend no one else exists. Then nothing anyone says matters.”

            Neptune’s bedroom windows are open, afternoon sunlight washing over them. It’s almost like they’re outside, just sitting out in the sunshine, in the open, so Jupiter pretends they are. And it’s not the most terrifying thought, at least not when Neptune kisses her again.


End file.
